When we think about losing ourselves, we generally think of it in the sense of a romantic relationship. However, you can lose yourself in your family, your friends, and even your job. Why is that? It is easy to search for your value externally rather than looking to yourself for confidence and self-esteem. When you chase it elsewhere, your worth becomes rooted in your job title, the salary that you earn, the number of children you have, and other places aside from yourself.
You may not even be aware of all of the things you tell yourself you need to do before you can be considered worthy. There are some tell-tale signs that you may have lost touch with yourself. Take a look at the following and ask yourself if this is you.
Do you Justify Decisions?
“I’m not going to do x today because I did x yesterday. I just don’t feel like doing x today even though I should”. If you have to justify not doing something then you’re probably straying from what you want to be doing.
However, if you choose not to do something with no guilt or need to justify, then you’re staying true to who you are. Of course, this is different if you are coming up with justifications to appease someone else.
Do You Ignore Your Instincts?
When you say or do something that isn’t true to you, you tend to feel a pang right in the gut. A lot of people consider that a physical manifestation of guilt. You should think of that pang as a gift, and rather than ignoring it you should listen to it.
Do You Ignore Bad Emotions?
Your emotions are an insight into your own intuition. Anger means you’re prepared for change. Guilt means you’re not aligned with who you are. This is just a simple access point to your emotions. Ignoring the bad ones stops you from learning. Listen to your bad feelings.
Do You Abandon Yourself?
A titbit of gossip, critical self-talk, and judgement of others… these are just small ways that you abandon the person you are. They don’t seem like a big deal at the time, but they add up and this creates a snowball effect. It doesn’t take long before you’ve lost who you are. If you feel like this, choose to react differently. Choose to react in a way that feels right for you.
Do You Break Promises?
It’s fine if you break a promise to yourself once in a blue moon but if it’s a habit you have a problem. When you tell yourself you’re going to do something and then you don’t, it doesn’t feel good. You’re creating distance between you and your true self.
Do You Attract Drama?
Drama is exhausting and unnecessary. When you engage in drama, you become distanced from yourself. Drama means that you don’t have the energy to be devoted to what matters you. It’s the perfect way to avoid the fear you have about chasing your dreams. It pulls you from your focus and drains your energy. When you stop feeding drama and keep your focus on you, the drama will cease to be a distraction.
Do You Procrastinate?
At the root of procrastination is fear and avoidance. You can’t be true to who you are if you’re avoiding yourself. The two things are total opposites.
Do You Feel Bogged Down?
Quite often we don’t realize the burden we carry until it’s lifted. When you repeatedly choose to abandon yourself, that choice weighs on you. When you start to choose yourself, and you stay true to the person you are, you feel lighter. It can be intoxicating when you’re on your true path.
When you choose your true desires you feel more and more unburdened. Then you can easily identify when something is a burden to your true self.